Coming Out - 40 years of age and older
Windsor Pride Community celebrates and supports all Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning people. You are not alone- there are others who live in the Windsor Essex County community who have come out in their 40?s, midlife and senior years. Depending on your age, in your lifetime you may have witnessed very significant milestones in human rights legislation in Canada including decriminalization of homosexuality in the Criminal Code, inclusion of sexual orientation in the Human Rights Code, and gay marriage. Much has changed in the media and society regarding the acceptance and recognition of the contributions of LGBTIQ persons. 

Discovery
Your life will be unique. Many in this group will have lived a life of struggle and inner anxiety and find they no longer can hide who they are. There are many factors which prevented these individuals from coming out previously: fear of rejection, internalized homophobia, self awareness, lack of role models, family experience and expectations, marital status, children, cultural norms, religious upbringing, educational experience, place of residence, income, workplace acceptance and midlife reflection.  As an individual you will have your own set of reasons for what you do. Today is like a new dawn. 

A good resource to consult for Coming Out is from the Human Rights Campaign in the USA  http://www.hrc.org/documents/resourceguide_co.pdf
A) Sexual Attraction: To whom are you sexually attracted?
B). Sexual Behaviour: With whom have you actually had sex?
C). Sexual Fantasies: About whom are your sexual fantasies?
D). Emotional preference: Who do you feel more drawn to or close to emotionally?
E). Social preference: Which gender do you socialize with?
F). Lifestyle preference: In which community do you like to spend your time? In which do you feel most comfortable?
G). Self-identification: How do you label or identify yourself?

Be Safe
You may wonder whether it is safe to come out ?to friends, siblings, parents, and colleagues at work, or even partners. You may not have much experience with the Gay community, dating, and safe sex.  Likely you will have developed skills to hide your ?true colours?. It is important to look for one person with whom you can speak with confidentiality, and find acceptance. Coming out when you were younger may not have been a possibility where you grew, up as far as you were concerned. Fear of rejection, alienation and potential loss of opportunity for career advancement and income may have prevented you from expressing who you are. Perhaps you knew you were different, but were not ready to come out to others. Coming out is a very personal decision. While it can strengthen and deepen relationships and improve self-esteem, it can be a very scary thing. In some situations, it can even be risky. Homophobic attitudes and behaviours are present today in many communities and workplaces. Personal safety is paramount. Only you can decide if and when to come out, to whom, and how to do it. It may be your choice to be out to one or two close personal friends, while not out to colleagues at work and members of your family. Others may gradually come out to more people. Some people will want to move to a larger city as they move forward with their life.
 
You need also to come out to your medical doctor or seek a new doctor so that you get access to personal health information, Sexual Transmitted Disease (STD) testing and or HIV testing. For those seeking a LGBTIQ friendly doctor please consider the Windsor Family Health Team   http://www.windsorfht.ca/    which has take a leadership role in primary care for our community. The team includes doctors, nurses, social workers, and dieticians. 
 
Celebrating !
Here are the most important things: Love yourself. Be true to yourself. Express yourself. Find your voice to speak to the world. Learn what others are doing. LGBTIQ people are some of the strongest people on the planet. There are role models in every field. Attend a Pride Festival. Become active in the Windsor Pride sports teams and social groups like 50+ Proud where you can make some new friends and find some new straight allies. Meet new people at the Summer Pride Festival. Join a committee. Volunteer and make a pledge to donate to causes which impact LGBTIQ lives. Help support the mission of Windsor Pride Community and lay a stronger foundation for the generations to come. Sign up for the email blasts of the latest news and programs.  There are publications like the Advocate for news, entertainment, travel, music, lifestyle and The Annual Top 100 role models.  Check out http://out.com/ and Curve Magazine http://www.curvemag.com/

For a Canadian news and entertainment http://www.xtra.ca/public/National.aspx
We don't realize how strong we are. Despite the daily torment we've endured, we're still alive. And to survive is a mark of incredible strength. Check our Online Resources Section of this website to learn more and check out the links.

Consider joining the LGBTIQ Employee Resource Group at your place of work. Help by building up the community which speaks for you. Our lives today are built on the shoulders of those who fought and succeeded in gaining for Canadians human rights, marriage rights, and adoption rights. That said there are still are many more Canadian hearts and minds to be won. 

Looking for support and friends to talk?
Windsor Pride Community in collaboration with Family Service Windsor Essex County and the Windsor Family Health Team offer a LGBTIQ support group for individuals over 40. Windsor Pride groups are facilitated by qualified social workers and certified counselors. Groups meet weekly. Groups are for those who identify as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Two spirited, and heterosexual or straight. Check the website for the latest information about locations, dates and times. 

In the meantime, visit our website Online Resources for more information